Dealing With Family Conflicts

Deuteronomy 2:2–9, Edom. Edom (another name for Esau, brother of Jacob) and Moab and Ammon (sons of Lot) were blood relatives of the Israelites. Often those of our own family will stand in our way as we go in to possess our ­spiritual, Elohim-given inheritance and destiny.

What is the lesson from this passage of scripture on how to deal with less-than-cooperative family members who don’t acknowledge Elohim much less his spiritual calling on your life? Are we to make war with them? Are we in any way to be beholden to or dependent on them for our physical needs? If we became dependent upon them could this help or hinder our chances of entering our own spiritual destiny or “Promised Land” that YHVH has for us? Does YHVH desire our families to be saved? (See Acts 16:31; 2 Pet 3:9.) How can we be a light to our families if we are fighting and attempting to destroy those who would spiritually stand in our way? These aren’t easy questions to answer. One thing is certain though. We must put serving and obeying YHVH Yeshua above allegiance to our families. Yeshua had some pretty hard words in this regard (see Matt 10:34–39).

This passage also teaches us to avoid conflicts with family members at all costs. No good can come from such confrontations. How does verse 5 start out? Now go on to read verse 6. YHVH instructed the Israelites to treat their cousins with respect and civility—almost in a business-like manner. Nowhere does Scripture tell us that we have to like our heathen family members. But neither are we to act offensively toward them. Like the Israelites when forced to encounter long lost relative, sometimes it is best to smile, be nice, but keep moving on! 

Another lesson to be learned from these verses is this: Choose your battles carefully. Avoid conflicts with others if possible. Go to battle only when YHVH tells you to. Only then will you come out victoriously, for then he will be fighting on your side and not against you. Latter in this chapter, we see that YHVH instructed the Israelites to engage certain nations and defeat them. When Israel obeyed him and fought only his battles, what was the outcome? (Read 2:24–3:11 cp. 3:22.)