{"id":7660,"date":"2015-12-16T19:10:33","date_gmt":"2015-12-17T03:10:33","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/hoshanarabbah.org\/blog\/?p=7660"},"modified":"2015-12-16T19:14:08","modified_gmt":"2015-12-17T03:14:08","slug":"divorce-and-remarriage","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/hoshanarabbah.org\/blog\/2015\/12\/16\/divorce-and-remarriage\/","title":{"rendered":"Divorce and Remarriage: A Messy Business \u2014 My Thoughts"},"content":{"rendered":"

I got this\u00a0email \u00a0question\u00a0today from one of this blog’s readers about divorce and remarriage:<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

Natan, what about the provision in Torah for a woman to marry another man if she is divorced? I get confused when Yeshus said that if a man divorced his wife that he causes her to commit adultery. This has been a hot button issue for my wife and I for years. Insights?<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Here is my answer:<\/span><\/p>\n

Most churches allow for divorce, but some do not permit remarriage under any circumstances. This is an extreme position, although those who teach this can make a strong case that this is what the Bible teaches.<\/p>\n

\"Divorce<\/a><\/p>\n

Some churches teach that divorce and remarriage is acceptable in some instances, but not in other. This is where it gets sticky and depends on the interpretations of many clear as well as some difficult to understand biblical passages. Each marriage and divorce case is unique. Each situation needs to be evaluated case by case based on biblical guidelines. My thoughts below on divorce and remarriage are only general in nature, and are based on my best understanding of scriptural principles.<\/p>\n

Some churches take the approach that all sins can be forgiven except the sin of divorce and remarriage (D and R). This would mean that D and R is the unpardonable sin for which the blood of Yeshua is ineffective. I do not hold to this position.<\/p>\n

Scripture says that YHVH hates divorce. Why? Because he had to divorce his own (spiritual) wife, Israel, because of her adultery. But he\u2019s going to remarry her, but this \u202ftime redeemed Israel, which is a new, spiritually regenerated bride. Furthermore, Yeshua died to pay the price for her capital sin of adultery. On our website (www.hoshanarabbah.org), I have a teaching about the prophetic implications of divorce where I discuss this issue.<\/p>\n

The Torah allows for divorce and remarriage following certain protocols. Yeshua acknowledges this in the Gospels and accepts this fact because of the hardness of people\u2019s hearts although this was not YHVH\u2019s ideal from the beginning (Mark 10:4\u20135).<\/p>\n

The issue of D and R becomes sticky since in Matthew 5:32 and 19:9 no one knows exactly what the term \u201cfornication\u201d means. Even the Jews of Yeshua\u2019s time debated about its meaning and the two Pharisaical schools of Yeshua\u2019s day defined pornea<\/i> (Greek) or ervah<\/i> (Hebrew; Deut 24:1) differently.<\/p>\n

Luke 16:18 is an interesting one. In the Hebrew, the \u201cand\u201d in \u201cand marrieth another\u201d can mean in the Hebrew \u201cin order to marry another\u201d showing evil and lustful intent on the part of the one leaving the marriage. In that case, it would be adultery. But if their hearts were hard and they had irreconcilable differences that, then it would seem that a properly executed divorce would be permissible.<\/p>\n

In our congregation, I marry very few people. I have turned down more marriages then\u202fI have performed because I didn\u2019t feel right about marrying some people who had been previously married. I tell the \u202fpeople they can obtain a legal marriage from a judge and we will accept it in the congregation, but I will only marry them if I\u2019m pretty certain that every things is being done righteously and in accordance with the Torah. Even this is a very tough judgment call to make sometimes.<\/p>\n

If a person is in a questionable marriage situation presently when they come to a knowledge of Torah, I would tell them to repent of their past sins, pray for the blood of Yeshua to cover them, and then go on and live righteously till death do us part.<\/p>\n

When Yeshua met the woman at well in John 4 who had had five husbands and was living with a man who was not her husband at the time he didn\u2019t jump on her back about it. He basically told her that he was the Messiah, that he could meet her deeper needs that had to that point had not been met. In so doing, the automatic result would be that her life would get straightened around from the inside out. That is my approach too. Whatever state a person is in, just live the Torah and follow Yeshua and go on from there in his grace.<\/p>\n

Adultery in the marriage is a difficult situation. Paul is very clear that adulterers will not be in the kingdom of Elohim (1 Cor 6:9)\u2014that is, they are not saved, unless, of course, they repent, as David did. When adultery occurs in a marriage, their needs to be repentance and reconciliation\u2014especially if believers are involved. Reconciliation may require the need for both to receive marriage counseling from a biblically-based marriage counselor. The need for this is even more critical if there are children involved.<\/p>\n

The problem arises if one of the parties refuses to repent and reconcile. At that point, separation or divorce may result. For the party who wants to reconcile, even if separation or divorce occurs, he will need to move slowly and never jump quickly into another marriage. He needs to pray for the unrepentant spouse (or ex-spouse) in hopes that YHVH will soften hearts, bring a spirit of repentance to all the parties resulting in reconciliation. If after a period of time (perhaps several years) reconciliation seems impossible (especially if the party who refuses to reconcile remarries), then I believe that one is free to remarry, but they must do so following biblical criteria.<\/p>\n

Clearly, the Torah allows for divorce and remarriage (see Lev 21:7; Deut 24:1\u20135). Yeshua acknowledges the reality of divorce. Why? Because it is not a perfect world and people become hard of heart, there is fraud, there is adultery, there is abuse, there is abandonment, there is criminality, there are addictions and the list of issue goes on of valid reasons why marriages fail. Marriages and good people sometimes fall victim to bad people and bad situations. That\u2019s just the reality of it whether we like it or not\u2014whether it goes against YHVH\u2019s ideal or not. As such, we have to deal with the realities.<\/p>\n

For the record, I am not divorced and have been married to my first and only wife for 25 years, and we have four children together. My parents have been married for nearly 60 years.<\/p>\n

If you have read my teachings, you\u2019ll see that there is a possibility that Moses divorced Zipporah and remarried the Ethiopian woman. In ancient times, many men didn\u2019t divorce their wives, they just married another wife and kept adding wives. Though polygamy was not YHVH\u2019s ideal, he nevertheless permitted it, though it caused no end of problems and grief for families and marriages. I see modern divorce to be similar to polygamy. Instead of keeping the disfavored wife, moving her to the back burner and getting a new wife, one simply divorces one\u2019s wife and gets a new one. In a real spiritual sense, one is still spiritually and emotionally attached to their former spouses after they\u2019re remarried. It\u2019s similar to polygamy except they\u2019re not living with their ex-spouses.<\/p>\n

\n\t\t\t\t<\/a>\t\t\t\t
 <\/div>\n<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I got this\u00a0email \u00a0question\u00a0today from one of this blog’s readers about divorce and remarriage: Natan, what about the provision in Torah for a woman to marry another man if she is divorced? I get confused when Yeshus said that if … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[8],"tags":[280,455,1427],"class_list":["post-7660","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-scripture","tag-divorce","tag-marriage","tag-remarriage"],"yoast_head":"\nDivorce and Remarriage: A Messy Business \u2014 My Thoughts | Hoshana Rabbah Blog<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/hoshanarabbah.org\/blog\/2015\/12\/16\/divorce-and-remarriage\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Divorce and Remarriage: A Messy Business \u2014 My Thoughts | Hoshana Rabbah Blog\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"I got this\u00a0email \u00a0question\u00a0today from one of this blog’s readers about divorce and remarriage: Natan, what about the provision in Torah for a woman to marry another man if she is divorced? 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