{"id":15897,"date":"2019-12-04T06:36:02","date_gmt":"2019-12-04T14:36:02","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/hoshanarabbah.org\/blog\/?p=15897"},"modified":"2019-12-04T06:36:13","modified_gmt":"2019-12-04T14:36:13","slug":"i-spent-a-year-as-a-trans-man-doctors-failed-me-at-every-turn","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/hoshanarabbah.org\/blog\/2019\/12\/04\/i-spent-a-year-as-a-trans-man-doctors-failed-me-at-every-turn\/","title":{"rendered":"I Spent a Year as a Trans Man. Doctors Failed Me at Every Turn."},"content":{"rendered":"\n

From the Daily Signal at https:\/\/www.dailysignal.com\/2019\/10\/07\/i-spent-a-year-as-a-trans-man-doctors-failed-me-at-every-turn\/<\/a><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

Sydney Wright\t\t<\/a>\/ October 07, 2019 \/ 625 Comments<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

“I was not a boy, and hearing otherwise was the last thing I needed,” writes Sydney Wright. (Photo: nito100\/Getty Images)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

COMMENTARY BY<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
\"Portrait<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Sydney Wright<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sydney Wright is a business sales representative in the private sector and a student at Georgia Northwestern Technical College.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I can\u2019t wrap my head around all that I\u2019ve done to myself in the last two years, much less the \u201chelp\u201d that some health care professionals have done to me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Two years ago, I was a healthy, beautiful girl heading toward high school graduation. Before long, I turned into an overweight, pre-diabetic nightmare of a transgender man.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I won\u2019t place the full blame on health care providers, because I should have known better. But they sure helped me do a lot of harm to myself\u2014and they made a hefty buck doing it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here\u2019s my story.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Congress is moving to impeach the president. But will their plan to remove him from office succeed? Find out more now >><\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

From my earliest years, I was always different from the other girls. I wore boy clothes, and I played with boy toys. I was a classic tomboy. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

As I got older, I became romantically interested in other girls. In fact, with the exception of one guy I dated in high school, I exclusively dated girls.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At the time, you wouldn\u2019t have been able to tell I was gay just from looking at me. I had long, blond hair, wore makeup, and carried myself rather femininely. But in my head, I knew I was gay\u2014though I was more of a self-loathing gay. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The truth is, I didn\u2019t like gays, and didn\u2019t want to be associated with them. Yet there I was, dating only other girls.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"
Sydney as a senior in high school. (Photo: Sydney Wright)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

By the time I was 17, my parents had long divorced and I was living with my dad. That\u2019s when he found out I was dating girls. He promptly kicked me out of the house, saying it was his way or the highway.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

With little choice, I moved in with my mom.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Soon after that, I cut my hair\u2014a decision that grieved both my parents. But what happened next grieved them far more.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At age 18, I started seeing a bunch of transgender men\u2019s \u201csuccess stories\u201d on Instagram. The trans men talked about how something had always \u201cfelt off\u201d with them, and they said people couldn\u2019t tell they had been the opposite sex after their transition. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Their stories all seemed to have a happy ending\u2014and it made me rather jealous. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here I was getting frowned upon for holding hands with my girlfriend in public, feeling like I\u2019m constantly being judged by everyone, while transgenders could date their same-sex significant other while looking like the opposite sex. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I resented that and began to envy the transgenders. I looked into it for myself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A Fast Track to Transgender<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Everything I read was in favor of transitioning. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

They only mentioned how brave the transition would make you, and how good it would be for you. <\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Regrettably, I couldn\u2019t find any articles about transgender regret or the huge health issues that would come from making the transition. They only mentioned how brave the transition would make you, and how good it would be for you. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I tried my best to find books that discussed the issue critically and offered opposing views, but all I found were pro-transgender authors. That left me with the obvious conclusion: If all the \u201cexperts\u201d were in favor of transition, why not do it? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Every passing day, I saw myself as this awful \u201cdyke,\u201d this unnatural lesbian. I hated that image and would much rather have been a guy dating girls. So I Googled how to make the transition to male. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"
Sydney after cutting her hair. (Photo: Sydney Wright)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

The first step was to find a therapist who would write me a letter to start me on male hormones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I soon found a therapist who said she would help me, and I told her I wanted to start the hormones on my 19th birthday, which was only five weeks off. She required only a one-hour appointment each week. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s hardly enough time to get to know someone. Yet those five hours got me an official letter that unlocked the doors for me to get hormone therapy and become a \u201cman.\u201d It also helped me change my \u201csex\u201d on my driver\u2019s license from female to male.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Not once did she tap the brakes to keep me from gender transition.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

I now see a huge problem with how easy this was. If the therapist had gone slower and been more careful, she would have seen that I wasn\u2019t actually trans. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

But by this time, I\u2019d seen the promotional videos. I was convinced that my gender is what was \u201coff,\u201d and the therapist guided me along and made me feel like a sex change is what I needed. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

By this point, my friends were also encouraging me to transition. \u201cYou\u2019re a hot girl,\u201d they said. \u201cYou\u2019ll be a hot guy, too!\u201d Others were too afraid to say anything against it, because after all, it was 2017. I never got pushback from anyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In reality, of course, I was not a boy, and hearing otherwise was the last thing I needed. I was simply insecure about being tomboyish and a lesbian in public. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

My therapist never once tried to sit down with me and figure that out. Instead, she asked me questions like: \u201cWhen did you start feeling this way?\u201d \u201cWhy do you feel you\u2019re this way?\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Not once did she tap the brakes to keep me from gender transition.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Scam That Scarred Me<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once I got my letter, I went to a doctor in Atlanta in what turned out to be the worst treatment of my life. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I was not a boy, and hearing otherwise was the last thing I needed.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

The doctor came in and asked if I had any questions. I told him, \u201cI\u2019m just a little nervous.\u201d He asked, \u201cDo you not want to do this?\u201d I said, \u201cI do,\u201d and he replied, \u201cAll right. Where\u2019s your letter?\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I gave him my letter, but he didn\u2019t open it\u2014not even to check if it was real.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He said, \u201cI\u2019ll call in your prescription for testosterone.\u201d That surprised me\u2014I thought he was going to administer it himself. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I asked, \u201cAre you not going to give me the shot yourself?\u201d He then sarcastically suggested I could drive all the way back to Rome, Georgia, (four hours) to get my prescription, and then come back to his office to get the shot.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That wasn\u2019t realistic, and he knew it. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBut I don\u2019t know how to give myself a shot,\u201d I said. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

He replied, \u201cThere\u2019s no wrong way to give it.\u201d He told me to go home and figure it out. He suggested watching a YouTube video. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

That honestly scared me. It should have been red flag No. 1 that the doctor didn\u2019t care, that this was just a money scam. His hands-off approach showed he was confident he wouldn\u2019t be held accountable for this treatment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But at this point, I was still caught in the delusion. I thought gender transition could make me \u201cnormal.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Unfortunately, that\u2019s not the reality that awaited me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Destroying My Own Body<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

The injections of male hormones started to have their effect, but not in the way I expected. I started gaining more and more weight. My skin started to get more and more puffy and discolored. My blood started to thicken. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The doctor\u2019s office was running bloodwork for me every three months, and it actually said I was now pre-diabetic\u2014something that was totally new for me. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

My gender-transition doctor said not to worry, but I decided to see another doctor for a second opinion. He said my thickening blood put me at risk for a heart attack or stroke.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"
Sydney during the first few months on hormones. (Photo: Sydney Wright)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

I did this to myself for almost a year. During that time, I gained 50 pounds and was miserable. None of my problems that I thought this would solve were being solved, and I came to have even less self-confidence than before. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I started feeling regret.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Unfortunately, I was stuck: I had already declared to everyone that this was who I was. I had changed my gender, and I had forced people to play along with it and call me by a new name: Jaxson. At work, men had to be OK with their former female co-worker now using the same restroom as them. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Everyone was walking on eggshells around me\u2014and people fell in line for fear of what might happen if they objected. (Employers are already being sued over this kind of thing, after all.) <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nobody could tell me what I was doing was wrong, or \u201cHey, wake up!\u201d A few brave souls at work did quietly try to say, \u201cAre you sure?\u201d Or, \u201cWhy don\u2019t you think about it a little while?\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Meanwhile, my mom was crying daily about why I was doing this to myself, all the while blaming herself. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"
Sydney after one year on hormones. (Photo: Sydney Wright)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Finally, one day, my grandfather sat me down to talk about it. He was, and will remain the only person whose opinion I will ever care about. With tears in his eyes, he asked me to stop. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Everything in me wanted to keep going\u2014not even because I wanted it anymore, but because of pride. \u201cWhat will people think?\u201d I thought. I had made everyone play along. If I suddenly stopped, what would I tell people?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Those questions ate at me. And yet, there was my grandpa, the man I respect most, pleading with me through tears. I just couldn\u2019t tell him no. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

That was a saving grace. I would have let this treatment kill me before admitting I\u2019d screwed up. His intervention may have saved my life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"
Sydney with her grandfather. (Photo: Sydney Wright)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

So I decided to quit\u2014and I quit cold turkey without seeing my doctor again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Unfortunately, it wasn\u2019t that simple. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Not even two weeks after stopping hormone treatment, the withdrawals kicked in with a vengeance. I was soon on the floor groaning, crying, throwing up, not able to keep anything down, and not able to eat at all. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Getting sick every single day was exhausting. I went to the emergency room three times and had to have two procedures to figure out what was happening to me. My hormone balance was way off, and I was miserable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"
Sydney while losing weight from withdrawals. (Photo: Sydney Wright)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

The last time I went to the ER, I had been showering and suddenly went into withdrawals. I called my mom, who had to drive 30 minutes to come get me out of the shower and take me to the hospital. I didn\u2019t even think I would make it there alive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Before the ER gave me medicine to sedate me, I begged my mom to make them admit me to the hospital. \u201cI will die if I go back home or leave here,\u201d I said. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

She and I both sat crying before I passed out from all the sedatives they gave me. I thought I wasn\u2019t going to make it. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Finally, Hope<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

After four long, exhausting months of being sick every day and losing the 50 pounds, I finally got back to a semi-normal life. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019m now more stable, but my body bears the scars of gender therapy. My voice is still deep, and I look very masculine. I\u2019m now $1,000 poorer due to the cost, though that\u2019s a fraction of what insurance paid. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

And, because of that doctor\u2019s letter that said I\u2019m irreversibly a male, my driver\u2019s license is now stuck with a \u201cmale\u201d label. I\u2019ll have to appear in court to prove I\u2019m a female again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nevertheless, I\u2019m just thankful to have gotten off this horrible path alive, and before I had any body parts mutilated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"
Sydney six months after quitting hormone treatment. (Photo: Sydney Wright)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s insane to me that our society is letting this to happen to young people. At age 18, I wasn\u2019t even legal to buy alcohol, but I was old enough to go to a therapist and get hormones to change my gender. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

This is happening to vulnerable kids much younger than I was, and the adults are AWOL. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you walk into these clinics, you won\u2019t really see older people around. It\u2019s boys and girls playing dress-up, brought there by clueless parents, waiting for the appointment that could likely ruin their lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I hope I\u2019m not the only one who sees a major problem with this. Our culture has set up a fast-track to gender transition that will only result in scarred bodies and ruined lives\u2014and the medical community is complicit. I met with these doctors in person and gave them my own cash. I can tell you they did not care.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At age 18, I wasn\u2019t even legal to buy alcohol, but I was old enough to go to a therapist and get hormones to change my gender.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

This is a public health crisis that our media and politicians are completely ignoring. More young people are being deceived every day, being told that the solution to their insecurity and identity problems is to get a sex change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s just about the worst path you can put a young person on.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Until we do something, until the medical community puts up serious guardrails and begins to do its due diligence\u2014and until politicians grow a spine and step in\u2014expect to see more young people scarred for life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If anything, I hope my story can serve as a warning bell and save some other young teenager the misery and grief I\u2019ve been through.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we speak, Congress is moving to impeach the president.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We do not have all the facts yet, but based on what we know now, there does not seem to be an impeachable offense.The questions stand: In drafting the Constitution, how did America\u2019s founders intend for impeachment to be used? How does the impeachment process work, and what can history tell us about whether or not President Trump faces the real threat of being removed from office?
<\/p>\n

\n\t\t\t\t<\/a>\t\t\t\t
 <\/div>\n<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

From the Daily Signal at https:\/\/www.dailysignal.com\/2019\/10\/07\/i-spent-a-year-as-a-trans-man-doctors-failed-me-at-every-turn\/ Sydney Wright \/ October 07, 2019 \/ 625 Comments “I was not a boy, and hearing otherwise was the last thing I needed,” writes Sydney Wright. 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