Galatians 5:16–25, The Works of the Flesh Vs. the Fruit of the Spirit.
How often do people have a personality and a worldview that is based on a mental and spiritual paradigm that is defensive and self-protective? Someone with such a personality often excuses and absolves themselves of responsibility for their actions by shifting the blame off of self by accusing others for the negative consequences their actions.
The actions of such a narcissistically defensively minded person often proceed from that person’s mental and spiritual carnal nature strongholds. It is out of these strongholds (e.g. pride, selfishness, fear, greed, lust, bitterness, etc.) and an attempt to cover their sin (instead of dealing with it through admission of responsibility followed by confession and repentance) that these defensive, self-preservationist actions occur. Those on the receiving end of the person’s defensive, sinful actions will see this person as accusative, angry, contentious, lying, arrogant and fearful. These are the bad spiritual fruits of a carnally-minded person.
Moreover, our own sins often blind us from clearly seeing the sins of others. What happens, in an effort to cover up our own sins and absolve and excuse ourselves from responsibility for our own sinful actions, is that we often condemn and accuse others of that of which we ourselves are guilty. This is called blame shifting and is a merely a slight-of-hand diversionary tactic to distract the attention of those we’re trying to deceive. By resorting to this defensive strategy, we get the critical eye of others off ourselves and we effectively are able to cover and hide our own sins thus escaping responsibility for our own evil actions. This is what Adam and Eve did when Elohim called them to account for eating of the forbidden fruit: Adam blamed Eve, who then blamed the serpent (Gen 3:12–13), and we all have been following the poor example of our first parents to this day.
This is why we have to be so careful when pointing fingers at others for any reason. Perhaps we are guilty of the same sin for which we’re accusing others.
Therefore you are inexcusable, O man, whoever you are who judge, for in whatever you judge another you condemn yourself; for you who judge practice the same things. (Rom 2:1)
Judge not, that you be not judged. For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you. And why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, “Let me remove the speck from your eye’; and look, a plank is in your own eye? Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.” (Matt 7:1–5)
In fact, the wise person, when he sees himself accusing someone of something, will stop for a moment of self-reflection and self-analysis to determine if he is actually reacting in a hypocritical and duplicitous manner. If so, this is an excellent opportunity for one to gain an insight into the dark areas of one’s own soul (the mind, will and emotions of a person), and to admit his own glaring sinfulness and to confess and repent of that sin. This takes great courage and spiritual maturity, but provides one with a great opportunity to overcome sin and to grow closer to Elohim by becoming more like Yeshua.
Accountability to others is vitally important to help keep us on the straight and narrow path of righteousness and truth and to even aid us in maturing spiritually. With the help of those to whom we make ourselves accountable, we will learn to act under the controlling influence of the Word and Spirit of Elohim. We will be disinclined merely to act out of carnal emotional and mental (often demonically-influenced) impulses that are based on sin-strongholds that exist deep in our soul as a result of past wounds, hurts, biases, bigotry and false beliefs. These past hurts and wrong beliefs continually jerk us around by dictating how to act and what to say when we are confronted with difficult, embarrassing situations (Gal 5:16–17). Instead of being led by the Spirit of Elohim to respond appropriately in crisis situations resulting in the fruit of the Spirit being produced (Gal 5:16, 22–25), such a person, instead, tends to react emotionally, impulsively and defensively and the outcome is the works of the flesh (Gal 5:19–21).
This is why accountability to others is important. Other people will help us to see our blind spots and, if we can get past our own pride and proclivity to react self-defensively, to overcome our fleshly, carnal, sinful tendencies, and to walk under the control of the Spirit of Elohim thus producing the fruit of the Spirit instead of the works of the flesh.
As a result, our interpersonal relationships will improve, stress will diminish and the peace of Elohim will fill our lives and will live in an atmosphere of love, joy and peace instead of strife, contention and anger.
So timely for my family and trials we’ve been dealing with for months. Everything I wish I could express. I will be sharing this. Thank you.
I would greatly benefit from a discussion on “Accountability to others is vitally important to help keep us on the straight and narrow path of righteousness and truth and to even aid us in maturing spiritually. With the help of those to whom we make ourselves accountable, ”.
I’ve wondered if we should be actively and regularly confessing our sins to each other (James5:16) but, as a former Catholic 60 years, I have mostly avoided it. If we should be, do any brethren have documented guidelines to share. I imagine a shared situation could easily spiral out of control since there have been volatile meltdowns and divisions within assemblies I’ve attended over different understanding of Scriptures. Shabbat shalom everyone and onward to the kingdom of יהוה
Confess you faults one to another as the Spirit leads, not as a matter of religious habit, which can be destructive and hurtful if confessed to the wrong person at the wrong time.
We certainly need to be confessing our faults to Elohim regularly in prayer, and to others when the Spirit of Elohim convicts us to do so. That, at lease, it seems to me, is the bare minimum requirement. Most people don’t even do that.
It’s therapeutic to confess one’s sins.
In reply to your fairly recent blog article entitled, “Attaining Spiritual Maturity in the New Covenant”, I quoted you, writing, “…..guilty of the childish defense tactic that occurs when one is caught in the act of sinning and then resorts to the game of blame shifting—of blaming the other party for one’s sin instead of taking personal responsibility for one’s own error”, and I said, “Good point! Man, you could do a series on that one, related to Christianity (vs. the Jewish people), theology re: ha satan, relationships between leaders and their followers, marriage and family relationships, and relationships in general!” So, thank you for your thoughts here, Natan.
I’m a Licensed Professional Counselor of many years, and from personal and professional experience, It can seem like a futile quagmire of a spiritual and psychological situation to be in, in a relationship whereby both parties claim that such is the manner (blame-shifting) of the other party’s way of dealing with things between them, especially if there is also a “chemical addiction” and if there also might be demonic influence and oppression going on.
If there is no one else involved to help two people in a relationship like this, say because they are not both willing to receive joint counseling/ministry with a primary focus on one’s self, what do you recommend for ways to deal with such a situation, specifically in trying to communicate through the disagreements of who is responsible to make needed changes, and also if dealing directly with someone when there seems to be demonic influence going on? Do you believe that one can help someone else who seems to be under demonic influence if that person is in denial about it, as well as being in denial about a “chemical addiction”?
Thank you for your input. Your professional background and training, not to mention your obvious biblical acuity, adds additional weight to your insights.
To answer your last two questions. In my experience, I would say an emphatic NO.
We can only change ourselves, and not even ourselves much less someone else if there isn’t recognition of personal responsibility and liability. This then has to be followed by genuine biblical repentance and willingness to change one’s behavior. Short of that, because of free moral agency, there is little someone else can do (including Elohim himself) except to intercede prayerfully for that person, set them a good example of right behavior, ask Yah to convict them and in his own way to get their attention. But if they’re willingly blinded by their own pride, demonic delusion, fear, unforgiveness, bitterness addictions, etc., which all go back to pride and fear in one way or another, there’s nothing that I know that can be done.
Because of personal family situations, I have wracked my brain over this issue for decades searching the Scriptures and my own heart, and have come up with no other answers than what I’ve just stated.
If someone else has some insights on this, please share!
Can’t remember where I read it, that it can be more effective in some situations to pray for wisdom and understanding in dealing with a problem rather than asking for healing or for the other person to be changed. I have used this prayer at times with great success.
God’s timing is always perfect and there can be various reasons why He doesn’t always answer our prayers in the time frame we expect it. At times, He will use suffering to perfect our character.
I have also learned to thank my Heavenly Father for my husband despite his negatives and trying to focus on his good points and I have experienced some amazing changes. Elohim loves people being grateful.
There is the true story of a woman who asked her counselor to save her marriage. He asked her whether she could think of anything positive about her husband. She said no, except the fact that he was still with her and hadn’t left her. So he told her to thank him for being there for her. She started to thank him regularly for being still with her and over time, her husband’s attitude changed in a positive way and they both were able to appreciate each other again.
Of course, all situations and people are different and some people are so needy emotionally, it can be extremely difficult to live with them.
However, I believe all things are possible with Elohim and He who is in us is more powerful then he who is in the world.
Love to all,
Sonja
The finger I point… most often points directly back to me.
My thumb and forefinger can be a loaded gun of self righteousness poking holes in the air. Boldness without purpose and just the noise of incomplete truth……lies.
Those words are false judgments clanging notes and without the rain of truth and life that comes from the Spirit of Truth …. no good things comes from that. Even a disagreement done in truth has potential for good fruit sometime.
The ammunition of attempting the correction others is only love from a pure heart which begins with prayer and relationship with the Holy One who gives us the ammunition of truth with soil prepared and as soft as a feather by the fruits of the Spirit.
We always need God’s rain!
Shalom to All
Shavua Tov FJ
Very beautiful insights Sonja.
I have found that in my own marriage.
Lashon Hara can be an attitude of heart despondency that leaks out as relationship acid whether in word or deed and is the quickest way to losing faith in goodness.
It encourages us in our wrong seeking to feed our disappointments to make them grow and morph into some very horrible monsters at times.
Ungratefulness creates hopelessness and destroys the place that Abba gave to each of us to meet in a creative overcoming place in the spiritual realm to move the unmovable and perform the impossible by trusting His goodness in spite of who we are. He will outlast the temporary and immediacy of our failings if we put our hope in Him.
Blessings to All. FJ.
To Natan
As one who has broken and messed up every commandment of Elohim, I understand everything you have to say on this issue; And I am exceptionally repentant.
John